Through some bizarre twist of fate, I recently joined FACEBOOK and easily found an old pal. This is a guy that I had been friends with since 6th grade. Very funny, sensitive, intelligent dude with a wicked sense of humor, even more twisted than mine. Here are some memories of the weird times
1. Last time I saw him, we went to Hooters and then saw Mars Attacks at a multiplex here in Toledo which has been closed now for years
2. We used to call each other bizarre and hateful names when we passed in the hall between classes in high school. The only one I can remember currently is when he venoumously called me "vaginal mucous" with a look of pure contempt. I busted up laughing, of course. No wonder I had few friends at school.
3. Was it him or Josh B who would aim the sun's reflection off of his watch on to the back back of Mr. Adams' bald head when he was writing on the board?
4. He played trombone. I wanted to be in band but of course wasn't allowed. I would've chosen Saxaphone. All my buddies were in band and I was a bandie-wannabe. I remember his lame joke "How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn? Stick your hand in the bell and mess up a lot!"
5. Swimming at his house one day, he held up a hughe innertube and said "Look! LisaW's diaphragm!" Thank goodness for Coach Parsons' health class or I wouldn't have known how funny that was!
6. We were penpals during college. I bought a bunch of silly envelopes from "Spencer Gifts" to send his letters in. They had return addresses like "Extreme Nosepickers Association"
7. He delivered pizzas for Dominoes in the summers. Once he drove by my house when I was on the porch reading and encouraged me to hop in the car for a delivery. When we got to the house, I was to duck down in the little Mustang he drove so the customer wouldn't see me. He got out of the vehicle and his car door fell off. Funny stuff.
8. As a prank, I got him a membership in "Impotence Anonymous" during college. He did the same for me (so kind). This was before the years of the Little Blue Pill
9. Once in college when I owed him a letter I couldn't think of what to write. "The Golden Girls" came on TV, so I wrote their theme song as a letter to him. Later, he told me that he was very touched until he realized half way through the letter that it seemed familiar.
10. We memorized the first part of the Gettysburg address for extra credit and recited it as fast as we could. Mrs. Straley always called him "Brother Jim" and I never figured out why.
11. We had our own little competition in 6th grade dreaming up answers to the annoying adult question "What are you going to be when you grow up?" Quality Control tester in a tampon factory? Hmmm. . . maybe this DEA thing is just a step towards his ultimate goal.
It's freaky how many bizarre details I can remember from that time.