tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76504418948821801212024-02-07T05:48:17.311-05:00Lanie Painie is InsaneyRandom thoughts, beliefs, rants and rambles from me.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.comBlogger240125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-65725857424905790852011-10-11T10:25:00.001-04:002011-10-11T10:25:50.514-04:00Honey Badger Don't CareA few week ago, my physcician and I decided that it would be prudent to change my antidepressants after 9 years to see if it would help me control my impulses that lead to weight gain. I think the new medicine is working slowly but here's the scratch: the old medicine was highly addictive and I have been in the throes of withdrawal ever since I began tapering off. For the curious, here are the list of withdrawal symptoms. Only those in bold are effecting me, so it could be much worse.<br />
<br />
<br />
intense insomnia<br />
<b>extraordinarily vivid dreams<br />
extreme confusion during waking hours<br />
intense fear of losing your sanity<br />
steady feeling of existing outside of reality as you know it (referred to <br />
as depersonalization at times)<br />
memory and concentration problems<br />
Panic Attacks (even if you never had one before)</b><br />
<b>severe mood swings, esp. heightened irritability / anger</b><br />
suicidal thoughts (in extreme cases)<br />
an unconventional dizziness/ vertigo<br />
the feeling of shocks, similar to mild electric one, running the length of your body<br />
<b>an unsteady gait<br />
slurred speech<br />
headaches<br />
profuse sweating, esp. at nigh</b>t<br />
muscle cramps<br />
blurred vision<br />
<b>breaking out in tears.<br />
hypersensitivity to motion, sounds, smells.<br />
decreased appetite</b><br />
nausea<br />
abdominal cramping, <b>diarrhea</b><br />
loss of appetite<br />
chills/<b> hot flashes</b><br />
fainting<br />
<b> "scratching sound" inside one's head</b><br />
<b>constant white noise in the ears</b><br />
tingling sensation in cheeks, lips, tongue and surrounding areas.<br />
heart palpitations/ chest pain<br />
swollen and <b>sore eyes<br />
fatigue</b><br />
extremely localized, bursting headaches<br />
lump in throat<br />
rash / dry, flaky and irritated skin<br />
grinding of teeth<br />
difficulty swallowing<br />
itchiness<br />
<br />
I would also add <b>intense loneliness</b> and <b>sudden inability to cope with people acting like assholes,</b> although that may already have been covered under the mention of irritibaility and mood swings.<br />
<br />
I must say that finding the list on quitpaxil.com actually was a huge relief. How pleasant to know that I'm not necessarily on the verge of some horrible seizure. I'm not longer convinced that my 10 year old will find me in a puddle of my own waste gnawing my tongue off and twitching, but I suppose there is still a slight possibility.<br />
<br />
The scratching sound /white noise, while still not acceptable or pleasant, aren't as scary now that I know it's fairly typical AND temporary. I am convinced that "honeybadger" is inside my skull and wants to get out through the back. It would be really convenient if <a href="http://youtu.be/spefM2OjKp4">Dr. Hfuhruhurr</a> could perform his cranial screw top method to give me relief. It would be really convenient, too, if Youtube actually had a video of the surgery itself. But that ain't gonna happen. I think Steve Martin's probably afraid of honey badgers anyhow. He should be.<br />
<br />
If you haven't seen the viral youtube video about the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg">honey badger</a> narrated by Randall, you won't even begin to "get it." The video is NSFW and NSFK as it has strong language in it, but honey badger don' care.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-44816683636305209002011-04-29T08:28:00.000-04:002011-04-29T08:28:49.553-04:00Wonderful wedding/Wonderful marriageI wonder, <br />
how many Americans are watching Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding today? <br />
<br />
I wonder, <br />
if those people put a priority on treating their own spouse according to their wedding vows?<br />
<br />
I wonder, <br />
what's the divorce rate of Americans who view royal weddings?<br />
<br />
I wonder, <br />
if being a wife or husband is held in as high regard as being a bride or groom.<br />
<br />
I wonder,<br />
if wedding vows are as cherished as wedding photos.<br />
<br />
I wonder,<br />
if wedding guests remain in the lives of couples as long as wedding gifts.<br />
<br />
I wonder,<br />
how many impoverished, diseased, neglected children could be sheltered by a tarp as long as a royal wedding gown.<br />
<br />
I wonder,<br />
how many families could be lifted from poverty and squalor for the price of one royal wedding.<br />
<br />
I wonder,<br />
if anybody realizes what's important anymore.<br />
<br />
~LanieLaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-85546929619982599002011-04-23T23:22:00.000-04:002011-04-23T23:22:17.672-04:00A hungry criminal is a cranky criminalI've heard many people talking about a law recently proposed in Kentucky. This bill would require Food Stamp recipients to pass a drug test before receiving public assistance. Personal note: I have never lived in Kentucky, been on drugs, or received food stamps - although I did receive Social Security benefits for a number of years and federal grants toward college tuition, I've never officially been on what most people consider welfare. I am not too proud to take assistance when it's needed, but I've always been able to stay away from food stamps - sometimes not by much. <br />
<br />
I also care about a young homeless man that I know who cannot obtain assitance at all because of a mental illness that makes it impossible for him to make good choices consistently. He sleeps in one garage or another at night, and walks the streets by day - when he's not begging for help from his family and few remaining friends. Sometimes - especially in today's economy - it's not as easy to "just get a job and pay your own way."<br />
<br />
So I'm trying to understand what people think this law will resolve. Will people get off drugs to obtain the food stamps they need to survive? Will it stop recipients from selling their food stamp cards for cash to buy drugs or other things that they want? <br />
<br />
I think it's safe to assume that people who use drugs are most often metnally or emotionally compromised - maybe that's why they use illegal drugs, or maybe the drugs are the cause of their instability. Either way, they are clearly not able to make responsible decisions on a day-to-day basis. <br />
<br />
I know from my own experience that if I go hungry even for a little while, it makes me cranky. Note: I have never experienced <b>real</b> hunger. Those of you who've seen me will testify that I don't appear to be anywhere near the <i>zip code</i> of hungry these days. But I do know when a child with very little impulse control gets hungry you better WATCH OUT! <br />
<br />
If this law is passed, it's going to do more damage than good. It will, in essence, cause the crime rate in KY to skyrocket. People will steal to feed their families and themselves. They are already breaking the law, what's one or two more? There state is failing them by allowing them to go hungry. Is that going to help them get clean and make positive life changes? I doubt it very much. I think they will resort to stealing food or stealing merchandise to sell or trade for food and for their drug fix. They may prostitute themselves and steal from their own families to get what they think they need. They will do what they have to in order to "survive" and they will get to a point where it doesn't matter what they have to do to stop the hunger. It will reinforce their belief that the world is against them, that nobody cares, and that they have to take what they need to survive. <br />
<br />
What about tightening up the current food stamp system as it is? How about only whole, healthy foods be allowed to be purchased. How about reducing the amount given and provide a list of soup kitchen and free food pantries along with them? Let's encourage fruits and vegetables and lean proteins like chicken and fish instead of treats and high-fat foods, or snacks that include food dyes and high amounts of sugar so that kids can actually focus and learn at school? There are lots of common-sense things that COULD work a lot better than letting people get hungry. And don't even get me started on how this country handles it's mentally ill citizens. So sad . . .<br />
<br />
What do you think?Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-10587481034271664912011-04-10T20:55:00.001-04:002011-04-10T21:04:58.209-04:00I don't want to be a Sneetch.It doesn't matter if I am star-bellied or no, I don't want to be a sneetch. That is, unless, there's a kind of sneetch that nobody has ever noticed before. That kind, I'll gladly be. <br />
<br />
I say that, but then sometimes I *do* want to be noticed. At least, a little bit. <br />
<br />
Why can't I be more consistent?<br />
<br />
I thought I was pretty clear when I told the canvasser for our church stewardship committee that I didn't want my name on "the board." I don't want to be noticed for whether or not I give money or how much I give. I don't give to be recognized and I don't want it to be connected to how people think of me. <br />
<br />
So there's a board with a list of family names. The names with a star in front of them have filled out this year's pledge form. So now I'm a star-bellied sneetch. And I don't want to be a sneetch at all. I don't like the idea of the board at all. It's like trying to shame people into doing their duty to the church. I don't think it's really creating the feeling of community they want to promote.<br />
<br />
At the same time, I volunteer a LOT of my time to the church. Many times that time is flatly refused or rejected. I don't need to have credit for everything I do, but it's nice to be appreciated once in a while. I had been helping with a weekly publication and instead of discussing changes with me, they just reassigned things. When volunteers are given special recognition I've never asked for or received any. And when somebody does make a fuss over me, I get embarassed and don't know what to say anyway. But then a lot of days I think - what about me? Don't they appreciate me? Am I just in their way? Maybe I'm like the older lady who is blind that they'd find things for just to make her feel useful, or the mentally challenged gal that dusts the library books. And then I wonder why I bother. Especially when the powers that be seem so cold and unwilling to make connections. Is it because I don't do enough? Or that I'm in the way? Could that be valid, or is it just negative self-talk? I mean, I don't want to be so naive that I don't read the signals but at the same time, I really do think I'm competent to help out some - even if I do have limitations - who doesn't?<br />
<br />
<br />
So I'm torn. I will probably just "let it go" and yet I'm always feeling like I need to stand up for the underdog. I don't donate a lot myself, but I pledge what I can with the little amount of discretionary spending that I have. And it's none of my business what or if anybody else pledges. So this is what is running through the insaney brainy tonight.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-59779301693059460672011-03-28T11:01:00.000-04:002011-03-28T11:01:52.785-04:00It's been over a yearI had opened up a new blog about my weight-loss journey and promptly began neglecting my writing here. Now I have a 3rd blog chronicling our up-and-coming beekeeping journey and I'm hoping to post some creative rants here from time to time as well. Welcome back the crazy!Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-65654272690664723912010-03-10T11:22:00.003-05:002010-03-10T11:32:03.947-05:00Book Review: House Rules, by Jodi PicoultPicoult's astounding ability to drag me into the mind and awareness of others has astounded me once again. Jacob, and 18 year old young man who has Asperger's Syndrome is more than just quirky. His current obsession with crime scene invetigation is about to land him in trouble like he's never seen.<br /><br />All his life, Emma has been attempting to get others to accept her son Jacob in mainstream society. She doesn't want his schools to treat him as if he is simply a label, but to accept him and help him to learn and grow and feel successful. Jacob, just wants to belong. He has no concept that others do not have the same interests as he does. He doesn't understand social norms or that others have expectations of him on a social level. He cannot imagine anybody thinking other than the way he thinks.<br /><br />Theo is Jacob's younger brother. On the verge of manhood, yet having no father figure, Theo has always fell by the wayside. He often is put into a situation where he is more of a big brother to Jacob than the other way around. His compulsion to belong to a family leads to some criminal behavior and ultimately turns his family of origina inside-out. <br /><br />The details and research that Picoult puts into her works is truly amazing. Her stories are gripping, and current. House Rules offers the reader an inside look of what could happen when somebody who seems so alien tries to fit into the mainstream world, and how that world misunderstands frankness for admission of guilt. Finally, adults with asperger's can begin to see that they are not alone in this world. Being misunderstood comes with the territory and sometimes even having an interpreter isn't enough to get the message through properly. It is a frustrating way to live.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-89328461942264130972010-01-30T21:17:00.003-05:002010-01-30T21:25:45.170-05:00I'm lacking in the compassion department these daysI am so glad that tomorrow's sermon at our church is "Unbridled Compassion" because I am just not feeling compassion for people these days. I'm sick and tired of the BS whining about every little thing. Seriously people. Where is your perspective? <br /><br />There are people with serious issues that are beset upon them for no good reason. I realize this. It sucks. It's unfair. It's ok to feel a little sorry for yourself someetimes. I'm a pro at it myself and my problems aren't real big.<br /><br />Yes, the economy sucks. You may have lost your job. What are you doing to FIND a job? What are you doing with this gift of TIME that has been given to you? Are you sitting playing video games night and day or are you sharing that time by volunteering to make somebody else's life better? There is a lot of need out there people. Get off your sorry butts and go out and give of yourself. You can volunteer at churches, shelters, soup kitchens, hospitals, schools, animal rescue centers, and endless numbers of places. If I was an employer, the first thing I'd look at is how people kept themselves busy and productive during their time of unemployment. It would make a big difference to me if somebody at least had a letter from an elderly neighbor saying that Joe Schmoe helped them take care of their yardwork while he was unemployed. Don't know where to start volunteering? Here's an idea - what do you sit around and complain about? Are you sick about the library shelves being messy when you take the kids there? Well, then volunteer to help straighten them. The people you meet when you're volunteering could be contacts to your next job. You may even gain some skills.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-63331409373591452242010-01-26T09:45:00.003-05:002010-01-26T09:52:34.326-05:00Are you KIDDING me?I was shocked to see this on a "friend's" Facebook status yesterday.<br /><br /><em>"I am so tired of seeing this commie prick of a President on TV all the time trying to twist crap around and give away our money to other countries but not bring our troops home from being slaughtered everyday in 2 scenceless no good wars !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"</em><br /><br />Now let me first admit that I'm not sure I remember this person from highschool, despite the fact that we graduated together. The first name is very common and so is the last. This isn't a person who posts infrequently, is a teacher, and seems pretty quiet. So, here is my response from this morning . . . <br /><br />I had to come back to this and respond. Maybe (hopefully) somebody hacked into your account and did that as some kind of sick joke.<br /><br />1. All people should be treated with respect and dignity. Name-calling is childish and undignified in any case, but especially so in this context.<br /><br />2. Haiti was quite possibly the poorest country on the planet before this horrible tragedy struck, with over 250,000 orphaned children, no sustainable infrustructure, and no economy to speak of. It would be arrogant to presume that America's needs are any more important than Haiti's right now.... See More<br /><br />3. There are different perspectives to every "truth" that is told. Expressing a perspective that is outside of your paradigm is not twisting it.<br /><br />4. As you know, our current president didn't start these wars. We were attacked on our own homefront. The previous president started the counter-attack and to draw out our troops now would be admitting defeat and opening up our country to more attacks.<br /><br />5. You spelled "senseless" wrong.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-52386616081940288192010-01-16T21:12:00.004-05:002010-01-16T21:24:30.898-05:00Sleep issues, anybody?I slept a lot of today away and I'm pretty sure I could be asleep again in less than 20 minutes if I tried. Sleep issues? Not just issues, I got the whole subscription, baby!<br /><br />I can't sleep if somebody is touching me. At least not human. I can sleep with a cat laying by me outside of the covers, but not directly touching me. No humans may touch me at any time during sleep. I'm pretty sure I could sleep with a medium-sized dog. In fact, life would probably be practically perfect with a pooch. Dogs and alliteration are obsessions for another post, however.<br /><br />I snore. Badly. I need to do a sleep study, I'm sure I have apnea. Don't tell me I better do it and it's good for me and it can save my life. I know all that, but I can't do it. I got issues.<br /><br />I kick and twitch and flop around a lot when I sleep. If this bothers you, stay the hell away man, cuz I gotta get my sleep. <br /><br />I can't fall asleep in a car, with anybody but my husband (or my daughter if I'm extremely exhausted) in the room, or if there's any chance that somebody could "get" me. I can, however, sleep in an airplane full of strangers with the blower directly on my face full force, no matter what.<br /><br />Sleep is my escape. I love to sleep. Can't get enough sleep. <br /><br />Nobody better wake me up. I have known to startle awake and start hitting. I'm mean when I wake up> I hate waking up. I often wake up feeling under attack. Did I mention I have issues surrounding sleep?<br /><br />Wow, this is making me sleepy.<br /><br />Thanks to my pals at Meme Express for the inspiration to <a href="http://memeexpress.blogspot.com/2010/01/saturday-stops-snooze.html">snooze</a> my day away.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-87815577502606371752010-01-05T17:15:00.003-05:002010-01-05T21:33:04.675-05:00TTT: Why haven't they invented?1. An underground heating system that would automatically melt snow off of sidewalks and driveways?<br /><br />2. Crustless bread <br /><br />3. a remote control that you can "find" by pushing a button on your TV<br /><br />4. a way to defog the front windshield of a car as quickly as the back window<br /><br />5. a scanner built into a microwave so that you just 'beep' the barcode on your TV dinner and it knows how long to cook it<br /><br />6. a non-kid section in retaurants<br /><br />7. a no-perfume section everywhere!<br /><br />8. a garbage disposal that doesn't spit at you<br /><br />9. shock collars for contractors who don't show up at their appointed times<br /><br />10. shock collars for parents who scream at or hit their childrenLaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-67160101268141974302010-01-02T13:02:00.002-05:002010-01-02T13:04:30.890-05:00Been writing some todayNot sure if any of it is of share-able quality yet. Posting it on Helium, though to get some feedback. Today is my first time "alone" in a long while. I cherish these few hours but look forward to when my family returns in a few hours. Can't help but love them!<br /><br />I've heard over and over again lately that my husband doesn't smile. Nobody sees him smile. He must be miserable. I have a little secret. (He smiles all the time at home.)Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-26793829956280322332009-12-31T23:17:00.004-05:002009-12-31T23:35:01.956-05:00New Year's Eve/Day SuperstitionsThese are customs (completely made up by my friend Pam and myself) that should be followed to ensure good luck in the new year<br /><br /> - Wear your pajamas backwards to ensure that things will go "the right way" in the new year<br /><br /> - If you are yawning when the new Year rings in, you will have great oxygenation all year long<br /><br /> - Buying me the new Girl of the Year doll from American Girl on New Years Day will ensure you are lucky all the years of your life!<br /><br /> - Hide a book outside before sundown and bring it in on New Years day. This will ensure your year will be full of enlightened literature.<br /><br /> - Rub noses with your loved ones after your midnight kisses, to make sure you will not "rub each other the wrong way" throughout the coming year<br /><br /> - Make sure that a woman is the first one to enter your home on New Year's Day. This will ensure positive flow of communication throughout the year. Because she doesn't have to ask for directions, you will not get lost this year. Due to her resourcefulness and multitasking abilities, things will come easier this year.<br /><br /> - Give all your money to the oldest female in the house, to make sure that you have luck in love year-round<br /><br />- Do not fart in the kitchen and your wife will not kill youLaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-36914506186482798302009-12-30T22:00:00.003-05:002009-12-30T22:11:51.746-05:00End of ought-nine<em>We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.</em> ~Ellen Goodman<br /><br />In the spirit of the above quote, and because I missed TTT yesterday, I am going to list 10 things I'm happy to have experienced this past year.<br /><br />1. Attended a fabulous class reunion and reconnected with some wonderful folks<br />2. Did some writing publicly, and grew from the feedback received<br />3. Moved into our dream house<br />4. Hosted a sleepover with a dozen little 2nd through 4th graders<br />5. Overcame my fear of driving to Chicago<br />6. Watched my daughter mature enough to fall in love with church<br />7. Volunteered my brains out<br />8. Gave to charity<br />9. Helped friends in need<br />10. Visited my brother-in-law's family in Florida for the first time<br />* Bonus - accepted and learned more about Asperger's and Cassandra's to more fully understand and appreciate one of my most important people.<br /><br />I challenge you to put away your failures and instead of thinking how you could do better next year, find at least 10 things for which you can back yourself on the backk for accomplishing this year. Celebrate your accomplishements and enter the new year with your head held high!Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-15165310786423593702009-12-22T06:56:00.002-05:002009-12-22T07:04:16.144-05:00Ten Things TuesdayTen things I'm looking forward to right now<br /><br />1 One of my very best friends coming to visit from TN<br />2 Our quick trip to Chicago<br />3 My first visit to Mideival Times<br />4 Lunch at Packo's tomorrow<br />5 The end of cold and flu season<br />6 Watching kiddo unwrap her gifts<br />7 A few quiet days at home<br />8 Christmas Eve Service<br />9 My daughter's dedication<br />10 City waterLaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-88889854223042213892009-12-16T22:51:00.002-05:002009-12-16T23:12:17.180-05:00Pray for me!(Yes, sorry - another religion one)<br /><br />I'm sure a lot of people who have read my blog are already praying ABOUT me if not for me. "Please God," I imagine them to plead "please don't let her influence young children."<br /><br />I admit to being a Facebook addict, and I have also come to the realization recently that I have been way too generous with the connections I allow on there. To be fair, I have connected with people from my past that I wouldn't give up now for all the tea in China (never mind that I don't drink tea, it's just an expression). But some days, I just have to wonder if maybe I shouldn't set some more strict criteria (read "any at all") to my standards of whom I will accept as Facebook friends. Recently I've started hiding a whole group of people, although I don't have the heart to "unfriend" them. These are the people who ask for prayers in their status updates.<br /><br />Especially annoying are those who ask for prayers for mysterious reasons or those who ask us to pray for their friends (named or unspecified, doesn't matter). Now I'm not saying that there isn't somthing to this power of prayer phenomenon. Positive thinking has been shown to be helpful in many cases. Of course, you can positively influence your future by also makeing careful choices about your own behavior . . . but I realize that some things are simply beyond our control. <br /><br />It's not the quoting of scripture that bothers me, either. Unless, of course, it is being used to condemn others. I love quotes in general, and when they are used in a meaningful way they are even better, whether they are from scripture or other literature.<br /><br />What I find intolerable is when people ask for prayers and imply that the more prayers that are received, the more God is likely to listen. I want to say to them "This is NOT American Idol!People!" God isn't waiting for his prayer-phone to ring to see how many calls he gets from each of the righteous in behalf of the pitiable. Or maybe he does, and that explains why there are little children that hide in closets praying that dad/brother/mother/stepparent/whoever doesn't come to get them again tonight. They are only one small prayer for the cause, while THOUSANDS of Facebook strangers may be praying to the same diety in hopes that Mr. Skippy John Jones will be able to conceive another child. If that's the way it works, I don't like it. So, I'm just going to reject the whole idea, hope for the best, and try to stay positive. That is, after I remove these annoying people from my Facebook News Feed.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-76400573917061828132009-12-15T23:20:00.003-05:002009-12-15T23:36:05.231-05:00TTT Ten things Tuesday: Holiday amusementsTen happenings that confound (& amuse) me at this time of year:<br /><br />1. Parents of elementary schoolers being irate that somebody may have told their child the truth.<br /><br />2. Shoppers who think that "saving" money means paying less for something that their loved ones will have to pretend to appreciate, instead actually putting the money in their own bank account.<br /><br />3. Neighbors using their unemployment checks to buy decorations for their home which will drive up their utility bills.<br /><br />4. Parents forcing their children to sit on the lap of a disguised stranger and then being frustrated when the child cries and/or struggles to be free.<br /><br />5. Getting up in the wee hours of the morning in the <strong>cold</strong> to buy something that you could've purchased online.<br /><br />6. "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" signs and buttons (no, he's not)<br /><br />7. Receiving unsigned mass produced greeting cards from people who don't take a moment to call, write, or email all year long<br /><br />8. Baking a variety of cookies and then putting them all into a sealed tin together so they all end up tasting the same.<br /><br />9. Every show on TV has to produce their own version of Dickens' <em>A Chritmas Carol</em><br /><br />10. People justifying all of this bizarre behavior because of a date on a calendar.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-60337099416745607332009-12-14T08:45:00.004-05:002009-12-14T22:56:34.111-05:00Believe!One of the many things that gets on my nerves these days, especially this time of year, is when people confuse the word "believe" with the word "know".<br /><br />It annoys the hell out of me when somebody tells my kid that they "know" that when they die, they will go to heaven (for whatever reason). This is wrong on so many levels. <br /><br />1. You don't KNOW that, you <em>believe </em>it. Hell, I'd like to believe it to. Who wouldn't want to spend eternity in paradise? Problem is, there are a lot of molestors, mutilators, and killers who "know" they are going there too and my paradise doesn't include those people. Jesus, God, Allah, Yoda, or whoever may forgive them, but I don't. And I don't have to. And you can't make me. <br /><br />2. By stating that you are going to heaven because you fulfill some religious obligation, it implies that those of us who don't subscribe to your doctrine will be excluded from the privilege. What kind of god is that egotistical that we have to accept only that one diety as our savior? Really? Seriously? People BUY that? So if I join your club, I'll be saved, but if I don't play by your rules, I can't go to your heavenly clubhouse? Ok, I stopped playing with that kid down the block when I was eight years old. Not going back.<br /><br />3. How dare you pity me and pray for me to find my way. Don't waste your time. My life is good, I follow the main principles of goodness as bet I can, as defined by most world religions. I strive to be a better person every day and appreciate what I have, making good choices and accepting the consequences when my choices are not so good or not so well planned out. Whether or not I attend your church, it does not define my worth as a person.<br /><br />4. You say you know, but you don't know. HOw do you know? Because you read it in the bible? You honestly think those stories are factual? You don't see how closely some of those parables mirror Aesops fables, or other lesson-teaching stories of ancient times? Who wrote that tomb? DOZENS of people contributed to that, after Jesus' death. Only after he was gone did people consider him THE son of God. Before that, he was a son of god, like any other man. That's how he referred to himself. He did not put himself above others and claim to be a diety.<br /><br />5. People don't come back to life after they're dead. They just don't. Especially not 2000 years ago before shock paddle and Epi drips and all of those other cool things they have on ER-type shows these days. You believe that, really? c'mon!<br /><br />6. People don't have babies without having sex. It's just not the way it works. All mammals are that way. People are mammals. They copulate. Anybody who says they are a virgin when they give birth is either (1) lying or (2) saying that they are unmarried, not unbroken.<br /><br />Ok, I'm ranting. I have my own beliefs too. I like my beliefs. But I admit that I don't "KNOW" what, if anything, happens when we die, whether or not there is one supreme diety, or if any of us will get to heaven, nirvana, etc. Saying that you know shows a lot of ego and just makes me plain cranky. And now that I've gotten that off my chest, I can go think about something else for while.<br /><br />I read a quote on <a href="http://juliasweeney.blogspot.com/">Julia Sweeney's </a>blog that most people don't Believe as much as they Believe in the power of Believing. She attributed that gem to a man by the name of Daniel Dennett. I must read more about him. Her post, along with some interactions I've had the past year that have lingered in my subconscious, really got me thinking.<br /><br />PS I love Julia's blog. I wish I was as articulate with well-considered things to say as she is.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-68240754250007190062009-12-13T20:41:00.003-05:002009-12-13T22:29:10.292-05:00The 6 W'sThe 6 W's Meme<br />Swiped from <a href="http://kwizgiver.blogspot.com/">What If This is As Good As it Gets?</a><br /><br />Who...<br /><br />Is easy to love? my daughter<br /><br />Do you just wanna smack? People who smack others<br /><br />Do you trust? very few<br /><br />Do you talk to when you're alone? BFF, on the phone<br /><br />What...<br /><br />Dangerous things do you do while driving? talk on the phone, eat<br /><br />Are you allergic to? penicillin, perfumes, plastics<br /><br />Is Satan's last name? duh, Claus!<br /><br />Is the freakiest thing in your house?... my 6-footed cat<br /><br />When . . . <br /><br />Is the best time to turn over a new leaf? every day <br /><br />Will you be all that you can be? every day I can be more than the day b4<br /><br />Is enough enough? a few minutes before I start screaming<br /><br />Do you go to the dark side? Way too often<br /><br /><br />Where...<br /><br />Are your pants? on my butt<br /><br />Is your last will and testament? in progress<br /><br />Is your junk food stash? in the pantry<br /><br />Is Carmen Sandiego? that's none of my business<br /><br />Why...<br /><br />Was the Lone Ranger alone? he wasn't. <br /><br />Was The Scarlet Letter scarlet? so it was noticible<br /><br />Are musicians sexy and plumbers not? because you obviously have a preconceived notion of what "sexy" looks like<br /><br />Are there no seat belts on school buses? nobody has figured out how to become rich off of it.<br /><br />Would you...<br /><br />Swim the English Channel for a doughnut and coffee? If not that, what? no - nothing.<br /><br />Forgive someone who deliberately hurt you? possibly, but not everybody<br /><br />Rather believe a lie if it hurt you less than the truth? I don't think so<br /><br />You still be alive if you were sucked out of an airplane window? no, I'd be skinnedLaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-61904944949482162572009-12-13T19:03:00.003-05:002009-12-13T20:16:22.400-05:00Grief vs. ObsessionHow do we know when grieving has gone too far and turned to obsession?<br /><br />I am starting out my week realizing that it is the anniversary of the week my sweet nephew Sullivan stopped breathing and was rushed to the local hospital and then life-flighted to Toledo Children's. He was 5 weeks old. Obviously, I still remember that day, and I think of him off and on, but I try not to torture myself thinking about that or about the long time of suffering he had after that before he finally left us 22 months later. Thinking about it brings up so much anger and grief and frustration and the whole "it's not FAIR!" mentality that I have to consciously choose NOT to go there. I just quietly ache from time to time and then <em>make </em>myself move on.<br /><br />I know that avoidance and denial aren't good things either, but life is for the living, is it not? I don't want to take away from others in my life by squandering time wallowing in grief over something that happened 9 years ago but am I grieving "enough"? I don't know who keeps score and knows when enough is enough. Part of me thinks, well I don't spend enough time remembering him, but at the same time, what good could that possibly do him now? Seriously, if he's in heaven, then it's paradise whether or not I think about him, is it not? How can what I do here on this lowly planet have any effect on what happens there? Not that I believe, but that's best-case-scenario.<br /><br />I don't know what happens. I'm glad he's not suffering and trapped inside a body that his damaged brain cannot control. I'm glad we had those first smiles and connection just before his first emergency. I'm even glad he puked on me. He was a normal, healthy baby, for sure. It is sad that he was sick for so long, struggled so hard, and died so young, but what Greater Good is served if I wallow in it and dwell on every 1-week, 1-month, 1-life anniversary. It's hard not to do so.<br /><br />End of babbling.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-90598381969125874542009-12-11T11:19:00.004-05:002009-12-11T11:22:45.524-05:00JerkThere's this guy I went to highschool with, he graduated the year after me. He's a completely self-absorbed asshole who is mean-spirited and cares about nothing but himeself and he's decided to go for another deployment in Afghanistan jut to piss me off. God, I hate this guy. All his pretentious showing off by volunteering for charity, risking his life for our country, loving his wife and son. If you ask me, he's just doing it for attention just like he had 12 inches of dead tissue removed from his colon last month just for sympathy. Whaa, whaa, whaa. Crybaby.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-52063942332124392482009-12-10T21:53:00.002-05:002009-12-10T22:03:04.763-05:00so.So, I invited my mom to come stay with me for my birthday for a few days. I thought it would be really cool because it coincided with her only grandchild's first choir performance and I'm turning 40 and it's been 40 years since the last time she gave birth. Coincidence? hardly. Anyway, between some horrid virus and wonky NW Ohio weather, she isn't going to be able to make it. I was getting anxious about her visit, beacause she hasn't been to stay over since she moved out and moved in with my sister after sneaking around making plans behind my back. My husband wasn't exactly looking forward to it either, considering the betrayal he feel and the fact that it's also his birthday, who could blame him? So for all my blustering and worrying, I'm disappointed that she's not here and not coming until <em>maybe</em> after the birthday. I'm just never happy. <br /><br />So, tomorrow is dd's concert, first time in choir and I'm really excited for her. I think she's a great performer. I wish she would have a little more support in the audience than just me, though. Why do they have these things during the day when her dad works? Why did all her grandparents move away? Well, maybe my cousin will come but I haven't heard from him and I'm worried he might be sick. He has a tendancy to catch pneumonia, poor ol' dude. I haven't heard from him for a week or so. Maybe he's just busy.<br /><br />So, 40 is old, but not as old as my mom was when I was born. I never really thought she was old until around 75. Maybe it's this virus that's got me down.<br /><br />So, I'm having special company for Christmas and then I get to go to Chicago for a couple days. My honey is taking off work but it's unclear whether or not he's coming along or if he's going to stay home and get things accomplished here while we're out of the way. I'm not looking forward to Chicago driving, but it'll be ok. I don't know if we'll do much touristy other than the Medieval Times event we're scheduled to go to.<br /><br />So, I should go to bed so I can kick this evil virus/terrorist plot that I have adn hope that I'll feel better in the morning. I should start reading a new book. Maybe the latest Dan Brown? Tis the season!Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-13840871732778391192009-12-07T00:06:00.001-05:002009-12-07T00:07:35.268-05:00Only a few more days left before I'm not 40Maybe I should figure out what I want to be when I grow up.<br /><br />Nah . ..Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-80332529821808236832009-12-05T10:59:00.002-05:002009-12-05T11:04:17.709-05:00What is the proper response?Somebody please help me know what to do in these situations. They seem to be recurring and I am confused at what the proper response should be.<br /><br />1. The radio is on when you enter the room, you begin to enjoy the radio and laugh along with the quirky Car Talk guys while preparing your breakfast. After about 10 minutes, once you are getting into it, the radio is suddenly and worldlessly turned off.<br /><br />2. You're having a discussion with somebody who (1) doesn't like to be interrupted and (2) tends to take extremely long pauses. You have been the last one to speak, suddenly he says "why the long silence?"<br /><br />3. You're sitting in the living room with at least one other person. A third person comes into the room and greets only the other person.<br /><br />I think we'll start with these three and see what kind of advice I receive before moving on.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-54378492831469275972009-12-05T00:26:00.004-05:002009-12-05T00:41:30.407-05:00Random wallowingI had a fairly crappy week this week. <br /><br />I have tons of friends but only about 2 that I can count on to check in with me on a regular basis. And that doesn't count my sister who I talk to once a week and my cousin who lives right down the road and I see at least once a month. <br /><br />Most of these friends simply enjoy my sense of humor when we're together and probably rarely think of me outside of that. Almost none of them will go out of their way to call me or come visit. Lots don't even bother to return my calls anymore. <br /><br />I've felt a lot of rejection lately, even though my logical side tells me that it isn't probably personal. I'm not good at pretending that it doesn't tear me up inside that people that I see on a daily basis, people that I'm related to by <strong>marriage</strong>, for instance, don't care to ask how things are going for me or how they can make things better. If I mention anything, I'm accused of trying to lay a guilt trip on them or attacking them, or manipulating. Then I feel even worse. So, trying to communicate isn't doing me any good. It' leaves me feeling even more worthless than before. So, I take my meds and go to bed hoping that I will wake up and it will all be okay again. When was the last time it was ok? I don't remember.<br /><br />I'm looking forward to my mom coming to visit next week - it's nice to know that she wants to hang out with me once in a while. I've really been enjoying my daughter more and more every day. I don't want her to go to camp at the end of January and I think it's mostly for selfish reasons. I don't like to miss anything. I've never been away from here where we couldn't at least talk on the phone on a daily basis. <br /><br />One of my biggest fears is ending up in a mental ward. This camp thing may drive me to it. Maybe if I'm heavily medicated, it will be all right. I doubt it. She is my comfort item. I'm pretty sure that's probably an unhealthy attachment, right? It's one of the few attachments I have, so I guess it's better than none at all isn't it??<br /><br />I wasted a helluva lot of time waiting this week. That pisses me off. It's bad enough when I waste my own time playing on facebook or reading a book, but other people wasting my time is simply annoying.<br /><br />At least I did my regular volunteering this week and felt I could be helpful and useful and make a difference in the world some small way. It keeps me going - that and my sweet girl. What am I going to do without her - incommunicado - for FIVE DAYS???<br /><br />meds should be kicking in soon. At least I blogged.Laniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7650441894882180121.post-46330844092387543662009-07-15T08:21:00.002-04:002009-07-15T09:10:26.476-04:00TTT - Crimes I have recently committed1. Clipping nails at 11 pm after having accidentally speared myself in my sleep.<br />2. Not allowing crazy relatives to have overnight trips alone with my baby (ok, 7 year old).<br />3. Wanting people to use their own PC's instead of mine at night when I would like to use it to help me wind down<br />4. Having feelings<br />5. Assuming that I'd get reimbursed the hundred bucks I paid out of pocket for a contractor deposit<br />6. Expecting to go along with hubster to his class reunion<br />7. Wanting quiet time<br />8. Not following a script of what to say to others<br />9. Failure to argue <br />10. Breathing wrongLaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15438241075767655180noreply@blogger.com2