Sure, the frozen cookie dough that I was planning to bake into festive little snacks to celebrate you have disappeared, but I hope you have a great unbirthday anyway. At least as good as any other dead guy could have. Because golly gosh gee, nobody here is cooperating with me!
In the spirit of brotherhood and sharing I would like people to ask for nothing, expect very little from me, and not get in my way. Is that too much to ask? I mean I give poor old ladies a roof over there head, and all they do is whine about the leaks. Give me a break! I invite said old ladie's closest relatives for her favorite pagan holiday and what do I get? Grief! She's been trying all day to instigate a fight between me and dh - or is he trying to start one between her and me? I ask for a moment's peace so that I can wait out the urge to slaughter the cookie-dough theif and what next? The vacuum cleaner has to be ran right freakin now??? Maybe she thinks since she's deaf everybody is.
Oh, and send dh to the store to get the last minute "must-haves" that granny put on the list? Sure, he'll go - he'll even take dd along. Of course, they'll walk quarter-mile in the sub-freezing windchill to the over-packed rush of the nearby store, but that's not supposed to stress me out!
CALGON (or the men in the white suits with the pretty butterfly nets) TAKE ME AWAY! I just can't wait until tomorrow morning and see the joy in dd's eyes when she beholds the biggest shload of toys EVER under the tree! It's going to be worth it right? If that little ungrateful so-and-so is so much as showing an ounce of disrespect she's gonna get poked in the mistletoe!!!