Monday, November 12, 2007

I've been sandwiched and I can't get out!

I am officially sandwiched. My 80 year old mother has lived with us for about two years now. She came to us because she was in over her head in credit card debt, and her house was in such disrepair that it probably should've been condemned. She is fairly healthy for her age and helps a lot around the house. So much so, that if we don't let her help as much as she wants to she will pout and hide and "punish" us be not speaking for a day or two. Her primary disability is hearing loss. She does have a hearing aid, but it rarely works as well as I wish it would. I suppose it's better than nothing.

When we purchased our home, it was with the intent that it hold our family of three. Now with mom aboard, we find we have way more stuff than we can manage. That, coupled with my depression issues, have led to a very cluttered and disorganized household. Between volunteering at school, dealing with mom's moods, trying to get meals on the table, shuttling mom and daughter around, and taking care of pets, I often do not feel like doing the daily routine tasks that make a house a home. I am struggling to get a grasp on things and SOON. I know what needs to be done, and that I also need to "declutter" my mind and life and fat body in many other ways. So why don't I just do it as the old Nike ad urge?

I would much rather write, hang out on the net, be at my daughter's school, or anything else rather than take care of this house. My house - the one where I am supposed to be the mom, the matriarch, the queen of her domain. I don't LIKE to have to work around an extra person, to keep one more happy, and have nobody take care of me. I am just exhuasted from the emotional turmoil on her "pouting" days like today. I don't expect her to change. Patience has never been my strong suit. I really am trying, but holy Toledo, some days are just crazy!


Kelly said...

Big virtual hugs to you!
I'm looking forward to the day when my other half and I find our own place. At the moment we're still at home with my parents. So I know what you mean, to some extent. It does have its downsides, including the lack of privacy... I hope things pick up a bit for you soon!

Meanwhile, to distract you, I tagged you for the "7 Weird/Random Facts About Me" meme. Time for more blogging!

Lanie Painie said...

I've been tagged? where? link me?

The Grammar Snob said...

Hey, girl. I know how you're feeling. Try one extra "project" a day. That helps me feel productive...even if it's something lame like making the bed or putting the dishes away. Let me know if I can do anything, okay?

Candy said...

Your post spoke to me (first time visitor here) so that I felt the need to comment, if for no other reason than to offer a pat on the back.

I always find that when things are at their worst, I become paralyzed. I can't do a thing...can't clean, can't cook, can't work. I do the stuff that brings me immediate gratification, like blogging or video games or shopping, and ignore the ramifications until later. There's probably a 12-step for it, but that would require admitting it to someone other than the blogosphere. So at least you have company.

Mandy said...

I will be there soon to help! Remember when we used to do fly lady? It helped us take baby steps to get our houses in order. It didn't take one day for it to get that way, so it won't get done in one day.

josee said...

Remember what my house use to look like?? Don't sweat the small stuff. While your mom pout..give her a rag so she can clean. I am just kidding of course, I like your mom! Hope your day is going better! I'll help you clean one day!

Mandy said...

????? Josee??? What are you saying? I don't understand your accent.