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Monday, January 12, 2009

Top Ten Lists

I got this prompt from Writer's Digest. How'd I do?

"You've been hired as a writer for "Late Show with David Letterman." Your first assignment is to come up with a witty, nonpolitical Top Ten list for him to read on air. "

Top Ten Reasons to Have a Pet Tiger

10. Snazzy stripes get you noticed in a crowd
9. Save time & money on toothpaste because nobody will be near enough to notice
8. Tigers LOVE to swim!
7. Solicitors will only come 'round to your house once
6. Neighbors go out of their way to be courteous
5. Small yappy doglets are quiet when you walk by
4. They hunt their own food (see #s 7 and 5 above)
3. Orange is a "happy" color
2. They always come running when they hear the can opener
1. Nightime snuggles!

Top Ten Reasons to live in Midwest America

10. Michigan OSU game rivalry is so utterly enchanting
9. Lakes much easier to navigate than oceans
8. Beautiful scenic . . . corn.
7. [sing] Gray skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!
6. We get to rake leaves and shovel snow!
5. Winter sports provide job security for trauma center personnel
4. Food without all that pesky "flavor" them other states use
3. No messy beach sand tracked into the house
2. At least two months out of the year bug-free
1. No annoying accent!

5 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

These are EXCELLENT!

We get to rake leaves and shovel snow, too, though far more of the latter than the former, I'm afraid....

josee said...

What are y'all talking about???

Mandy said...

You have a funny accent! I haven't met an Ohioan who can say "striped" instead of "strip-ed"

Lanie Painie said...

Mandy, I CAN stay it that way, I just don't like to do things WRONG!

Lanie Painie said...

Josee,
your French-Canadian/Texan/Georgia accent is too strong - I can't understand what you are trying to tell me. (Wanna buy some cookies?)