TTT Random Thoughts for the week

1. This morning I was supposed to volunteer at dd's new school library. Yesterday I started feeling a little under the weather (as evidenced by the news article below) and this morning I had full-blown flu symptoms. I called in and left a message for the librarian, went home and slept a little more. Now I feel pretty good again. So was that some anxiety-induced illness or do I really have some sort of virus? I can never be quite sure of the level of my insanity.

2. Getting old sucks. Skin tags are one of the worst symptoms. They are just plain gross to me. There is either an annoying skin tag on my neck or I have sprouted another head. Just what I need: another mouth to feed. The little bastard is easily irritated by warm winter clothing, so right now he's covered by Mr. BandAid. I hope he suffocates because he (obvsiouly male) is driving me up a freakin wall!

3. Politics is getting old. Let's just get the vote over already. We all know that it doesn't matter who we vote for anyway. I got an idea: just to test out my theory, why don't we all vote for Obama and watch McCain win anyway? I'm sure he's got some friends on the board of the company (is it still Diebold?) who makes the ballot booths. C'mon, it'll be fun!

4. Soon it will be the day for juveniles around the country to go begging door-to-door for candy. How I love this time of year! I can't wait to raid my loved one's candy sack and remove all of those "unsafe" Reese's and Snickers leaving her only with smarties and blowpops and then hiding even those on a high shelf and dosing them out as if they are methodone. Hey - have you SEEN my kid after a large dose of RED#40? Don't judge until you do. That stuff should be outlawed for the safety of momkind.

5. Some days it just seems like I wait for the day to be over. Why? What am I waiting for? Shouldn't I actually be DOING something? Maybe like cleaning my house or oh, I don't know, making the world a better place? I need to get back into a good routine and make a difference around here on a daily basis. Now that I've said it "out loud" will I actually do it? Let's hope so. This place is trashed.

6. I like candy!

7. As much as I love animals, I have finally come to the conclusion that having pets just might not be worth the trouble. Really! Why did I think I wanted two extra things to take care of? All they do is eat and poop and poop and poop. I'm not a big fan of poop. Sure, the kitties are cute and have whiskers and freakishly mutant extra paws on their front feet - but hey, who needs all that poop?

8. I'm ready for a change and my hair is already pretty short, so a quick trip to FirstChoice is just not going to "cut" it this time. Maybe I should start thinking about going to college and being something when I grow up. What could I be? Maybe a psychologist or school counselor? Sounds interesting and rewarding, but writing a book or two sounds better. I'm no Jodi Picoult, though, or Keith Ablow. Probably I shouldn't compare myself to famous people like that. So many people get an education and then don't do anything with it anyhow. And really, what's wrong with that other than wasting thousands of dollars and hours on nothing? Perhaps I'll feel better after a nap. Or a Snickers. Or Paxil.

9. The Schwan man should be here any minute. MMMmmmmmm. . . . he's like Santa.

10. Now I remember why I rarely skipped school as a teen. All my friends would still be at school and I had nobody to play with. Because I have no voice, I can't have fun talking on the phone to the few who are home. At least not for more than about 20 minutes before I start "using my sexy voice" again. Mandy can only take so much. She's teasing me taking a day off work today because she's sick too, but neither of us are well enough to enjoy our sick days. Refer back to #1 - I was feeling pretty good when I started this post, but now I feel like hell again. Yeah, I think it's the flu.