I just finished reading "The last lecture" by Randy Pausch and it's gotten me thinking about childhood dreams. I'm going to see if I can pull 10 out of my memory bank and then see how I'm doing on achieving them.
1. Be an art teacher
2. Be a mom, full-time
3. Travel to Australia
4. Go to Disney World
5. Make a difference
6. Become an author
7. Find love
8. Work with animals
9. Help others
10. Feel safe
I taught scrapbooking classes for a while and enjoyed it somewhat, but it didn't allow for the creativity and inspiration that I had imagined. Recently, I did an art project with the kids at our school and I realized that as much as I love art, I am no match for 20 or more children at a time! Still, it was something that I'm glad I tried and now I can safely put a checkmark there! I still love teaching techniques and tidbits to my own budding artist, but I prefer not to be outnumbered!
When I was in 6th grade or so, I knew that what I wanted to be most in the world was a mom. I had other goals (such as the art teacher scheme) that I thought might hold me over until I started a family. Later, in high school, I was talked into attending college and not "wasting" my intellect. They must have meant another college, because I didn't find my intellect particularly challenged there. Maybe it was because my heart wasn't in the right place at the time. Who knows, but I followed the recommendations and got a degree in business (not my dream, but something solid and employable). Knowing that I didn't want to be a working mother, and that I couldn't give 100% to more than one job at a time, I was not disappointed when I found out that we were not able to have kids. Ten years later SUPRISE! A KID! Best thing that ever happened to me (although it took a while to convince me of it).
I've always been fascinated with Australia. I believe it all began with a Mutual of Omaha program about koalas. The more I learned about the fascinating wildlife that is abundant "down under" the more I craved a first-hand experience. I have yet to travel outside of US, but I am hoping with all hope that this adventure is not too far down the road at this point.
As a child, my brother used "Disney World" as a manipulative tool. He was much older than my sister and I and used his power/authority for evil. Like any youngster, we longed for the Magic Kingdom, which was always dangled as a promise, but never came to fruition. This year I was lucky enough to receive a small windfall and used it primarily to treat myself, my daughter, my mom and my sister to a 5 day trip to Disney in Orlando. I can't wait to go back with just my little girl! Or hey - maybe even convince my husband to come along!
I don't know whether or not a make a difference in the grand scheme of things, but I try to reach out to people and be helpful on a daily basis. I know for certain that I've made a difference to some people who are very special to me. I'm still working on the rest of the world!
I think if I focus on authoring a children's book, a novel, or a memoir, it will come to be. There are always so many thoughts and ideas swimming around in my mind, I would be smart to start journalling them and keeping track. Seems that writing things down should be easier. I need to take time to do that.
As much as I complain about my mate, I really do know that he loves me. He puts up with a lot from me and supports me in my mothering career. He's a good man and a decent father on most days. I'm lucky to be loved by him!
One of the first adventures I had on my own when I moved out of my mother's house was volunteering at the local zoo. I loved it. My favorite part was learning about the animals and receiving the training. I learned so much! I still have the manual around here someplace, I'm sure! We were encouraged to handle small animals and biofacts. Also we would hang around our favorite exhibits, answering questions and engaging visitors in conversation about the fauna. I still love guiding tours of the zoo for friends, although it has changed a lot in the last 15 years. I love sharing cool animal facts, especially with kids.
9. My favorite paying job ever was when I worked in the credit card department at a large bank. I was able to help people who were mis-charged by merchants on their credit accounts. I felt good helping people, knowing the codes, rules and regulations that protected them and being able to ease their stress by putting that information to work for them.
10. Growing up, every day I felt the need to "go home" even if I was at my place of residence. I didn't feel safe there. I never knew what would happen. I tried to be at friends' houses most of the time. Later, I think I felt fairly safe in the world until 2000. That is the year when my marriage started getting difficult, my cherished nephew (now deceased) fell ill at 5 weeks old, and I unexpectedly became pregnant. Through all of that and then followed by the notorious attacks of 9/11/01 when my baby was only a week old, I haven't really felt that safe. Having a child to protect makes me feel, at times, more vulnerable than ever. I still have bouts of invincibility, but normally that's just me getting into trouble. Maybe nobody really feels safe in the world, maybe it was just a pipe dream.
PS - I really did begin this post on Tuesday