PAD #5

Today's poem prompt was to write a poem about worry. This is a subject with which I'm fairly familiar.

Life Before Paxil

I will get myself into trouble
I should keep my mouth shut
They will find out that I'm a fraud
I am never truly safe; I'm homeless
They only love the person I pretend to be
What if I become sick or pass out
This is bad. This is bad. This is bad.
Heartbeat strains against neck and temple
Hands sweat, overpowering thirst creeps in
I feel confused. What if I'm insane . . ?
It will be proven that I don't matter
They will all leave me and I will be alone
My hearing, my sight, my mind:
How long will they remain mine?
Need to breathe. Can't speak. Mustn't speak
Apprehension. Fear. Mutism. Anxiety